EMT BASIC

well I'm takin my emt basic classes sure are fun so far!! I wish I could get this outta my mind but I just can't, these memories are killin me. the shower the talks on the couch, sleepin in his bed, stealing his hat, drivin in his truck (which he's selling so that memory is being destroyed) riding up in the hills shootin guns, so many memories from feb to June... minus April. I just don't know what to do or where to go or how to function, I'm having the worst time with this and it's all because I never had a conclusion to this whole mess after he found out about his daughter... I still wanna just cry and ignore the world and all the problems with it... I just hurt so bad inside like someone is grabbing my heart in their hand an squeezing it so hard that it's gonna burst into a bunch of pieces and I are myself laying on the floor lookin to the side with blood gushing from my chest as my breath weakens and dies... I'm just sick of hurting but i can't keep Kalab off my mind... all the songs I hear remind me of him and I just go back to the days where we had a great friendship and great laughs, I was his buddy when everyone else was sleeping, I think that's why I'm having problems sleeping at night because I used to stay up texting him and now there's an emptiness there that's not being filled with him and it hurts me and keeps me awake wondering why... :'(