it seems like all I can do these days to keep a positive attitude... I hurt so much all the time and all the thoughts in my head keep spinning around. I want a guy in my life that will love me and help me get to my dreams... I'm so sick of everyone putting me down or telling me I can't do something, just the other day someone basically told me to give up trying to get my cdl because no one would hire me to drive cuz I'm a girl... it's so stupid!! I just want some money to help me get through this stuff so I can get on to my dreams!!
I want to be able to get more tattoos, pay rent an bills, have enough time to work with the horses and my truck projects and still have a good time out with friends (not that I have any that want to go do the stuff I want) and I want to go the thw Oregon jamboree this year, with who I don't kow but I want to! there's so much I want to do and so much I feel trapped and going no where being stuck at dads doing nothing for no money, I just want to cry and rebel and leave but I can't leave cuz I have no money for anything including gas... so I'm stuck in this shit hole town not being able to go anywhere even just drive outta town a cruise... also my classes keep me so busy I can go do anything If I had the money for it, I'm so trapped and stuck I'm getting cluster phobic in this world... I feel like I'm gonna snap!!
my other thing is it never feels like I'm good enough for anyone, no one wants me around no one wants to hang out no one wants to date me, I feel so unwanted and unloved it just kills me inside, makes me feel like there's nothing good out there makes me feel like I've got nothing to search for, I want my life to start and to be able to start my dream but it seems like no one wants to help me get there... I feel so worthless.
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