Again some more...

Nothing ever changes, time goes by and life continues in the same fashion. Old friends are still mostly set in their ways, new friends aren’t making any progress, and I’m always left out of the circle. I feel like I’ve been closed out of so many circles. I keep trying to be a bette time and part of the groups that I’m involved with, but I always seem to offstep before I’m accepted. I’m always just pushed out or just not ‘cool’ enough to get the invite. I’m ready to have something exciting happen in my life, some change would be nice. I know it’s not in my control but I’m tired of waiting....

Same old thing

Well it's been 4 years, i doubt anyone will read this, but here I am again, same boat same thing and just more time passing. I get so bummed out by this cycle, find someone who is decent and a good person and could really fit into the life i have envisioned for myself, and again they don't want anything to do with me. will I always be single? Will I never have kids? Will I be lonely for life? I am so depressed over this. I just want someone to hold at night and give my love to. I want to build a family and raise good kids and pass along my knowledge. I don't want my family line to end with me. I want to give my parents the chance to be grandparents. I want so many things but I have no way to do that.
Im struggling with being able to cope with this part of life. I just want so many things, but none are in my control and none of them have anyway of appearing to me anytime soon. I want someone to travel with and go hiking and camping with. I want someone to share memories with and to dance with. I want to be able to experience life with someone.

The only thing that is going my way so far is the probability of a new job at the fire station. working full time and being able to move out from my parents. I;m just ready to move on with this part of life.