many tears :'(

ok so last night: it's gonna be along story... it started at 9 my cousin Sam an his brother in law an his brother (josh an Louis Finke) anyway they came an knocked on my door an said we are goin out... sure had nothin better to do... an a small hope said maybe Kalab would be there... anyway after lots of drinks (I think I had at this point 2 amf's an 4 taste of tahities... an a jäger bomb) I look over while playin pool an I see Kalab! (I had been texting him all night telling him he should come out) he was just sittin on a stool drinkin a. eer an talkin to his buddies... I went over an talked some but went back to my pool game... I told josh to go talk to him and tell him to come talk to me... so josh went over and said I don't know what then came back to me an said 'I don't think he's ever gonna talk to you again, you can do better than him' I just looked at josh in shock (pretty sure my jaw was hangin open) then the tears just started trickling down my face... I gave up the pool game looked over at Kalab he looked at me an the tears just poured down my face... I went an sat at the table that Sam was at put my feet up and just cried into my knees...I texted Kalab that I needed him to come talk to me but he didn't get my text... I just felt so crushe inside I did't know what had just happened.. josh was feeling really bad now cuz he didn't understand what I see in Kalab or that I really really like him... Sam held my hand as I bawled into my jeans then Jeff Quiring came over an asked what was wrong... I'd told him what happened through broken sobs an he stood me up an hugged me... josh finished his beer an we headed for home... on the way out I grabbed kalabs arm an said I was leavin an ill see him later... his face said that he knew somethin was wrong but he did't say anything to my tear soaked and makeup smeared face an snotty sniffles ... I texted him on the walk home, sorry about that dont worry about me then another text I'll be ok... he texted me back not too long after... (I was sitting an eating Cheerios on the floor an still crying) he asked what happened an I said my cousin (josh) came an talked to you what did he say? Kalab said that he had said that he just talked shit like a little kid... I texted him back saying if I come back to roundup will you talk to me? he sai what's going on.. I just said to meet me out front in 2 min... so I walked over there an his buddy branden was out frot smokin and said that Kalab was inside .. I was kinda shocked that he knew who I was lookin for lol... so he didn't come outside so I went in an told him I needed to talk to him so we went out back and I turned to him an started crying again an was like... I don't k ow what my cousin said to you but it was stupid... I took a step towards him an wrapped my arms aroun him an cried into his shoulder... he told me to calm down an tell him what was going on so I explained the best I could that I had told josh to talk to him for me an it got misunderstood an I told him I really liked him still an I just didn't wanna screw it all up an that sort of thing... then leaned back on his shoulder again then Jeff came back out an he hugged me too then we all went inside an I ran into Chris one of jesses friends an told him he still owed me a jäger bomb from a few weeks ago do he bought me one an I chugged it Kalab laughed at me an told me I prolly don't need another one of those (since they messed me up on your b-day lol) then Kalab was off with some of his friends at the pool table an I went over an told him was leaving again an my door would be unlocked if he wanted to stop by on his way home... well he never stopped by but he did text me at 3:55 saying he finally stopped drinking lol. an I was really hoping today wouldn't be weird or anything but he's been textig me all day like he usually does so I guess we are fine but I really want to talk to him... not to straighten out last night but kinda to tell him that I was serious about how much I like him an stuff I hair want to be held by him right now and just be able to be next to him... all these feelings are insane in my head towards him... I've never cried over a guy besides Jesse when he broke up with me... but he hasn't texted me back this evening so I'm not gonna push it even if I really want to see him... I really miss him already and wish we had had more time at the bar without being I turreted with my crying over him... but yeah thats pretty much what happened last night... <3 I frickin like him a lot lot an wish I could find out what he thinks of me... I just gotta buckle up an ask him I guess... anyway yeah :)