so much pain

I don't know what to do, I feel so hurt right now an I really shouldn't. I just want to run away and cry until the tears stop flowing and the pain stops hurting. why is it in so caught up in him when I am absolutely nothing to him. I just want to set it all straight and talk to him and make it right. I want to talk it out and settle it between is. weather it's one way or the other I just need to figure out what the hell in doing. I don't want to hurt anymore, but I don't want to lose him either :/ I'm so stuck and so hurt I just want to curl up in his arms an have him tell me it's all ok. also people keeping things from me and it's so irritating because as soon as they ask a question about Kalab if he's figured that thing out with that girl I ask what? and then they shit their mouths and change the subject... it's so irritating that no one will tell me anything anymore.. I'm so out of everybody's loop I want to just leave an not come back....