alive again!

it's amazing to me how you think you're living but not actually alive inside... you go day by day going through the motions, putting others first because you feel you don't matter, putting out trying to make it feel real, make it seem like you have a reason to go day to day. after some time you start to believe you're happy, you push the hurt from your mind an ignore it. you feel like you're living again and actualy happy. reality hits you like a full blow from a horse, you realize that you've been living a lie. you realize what made you happy, what brought you to life in the first place, you realize where you were when you felt that freedom. and you realize you can live again. taking in that first breath of life, the feeling of warmth takes over your heart and the butterflies take flight. the feeling of being again the feeling of living again :) it's so comforting. I cannot wait to see where this goes, this summer is going to be way better than the summer of '09 :)