I'm just feel so out of it these days and I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so stuck trying to figure out what to do. I really want to start my life, I feel so stuck in this middle ground. I want to move out, start a family start really living... I feel like I should just give up on this idea of liking this person... I haven't dared tell him anything but at times the way he talks makes me wonder if he already knows... he hardly texts me back and barely comes over on his days off... then he says he'll see me soon but never comes over... probably wouldn't ever work out even tho he is such a gentleman and a really great guy... guess I need to just keep on going in life on my own, even tho that's not where I want to be. I want to be happy and be able to have that person to depend on without having to lose them ever... I wanna be with someone who loves me forever and puts up with all the shit I've been through and someone that understands... I dont know what I'm supposed to do in life... I wanna go places and do things but I feel so stuck in this rut not going anywhere anymore. I just want to be happy again... is that too much to ask for?? ...
really bummed out today, I wish I could go down to the beach in the rain and jist sit on the tailgate watchin the waves roll by without anything to interrupt... but that won't happen
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