A Crazy Day

Well today started off really rough, and then got somewhat better, we needed a vehicle to drive to portland, and the 82 wouldnt make it, so we took jess's truck, that wasnt fun, there are so many memories linked to his truck, the mirrors, the smell, all the things that happened in that truck , the truck he bought the day of prom, it jsut hurt riding in the middle seat... with out him there... it hurt so bad.. i jsut want to hold him again, i want to kiss him again, i want to love him more, i want his love again... texting him and makin fun and what not, jsut bein friends, i see that smile and it kills me inside, and it was jsut overall a hard day.. and i want to go to bed, but i dont want for him to come back, he comes every night , he talks to me he tells me he loves me, he says hes sorry, and i wake up and cry, and i dont want to anymore, i want him, adn i dont want these dreams, but i also look forward to seeing him every night in my dreams, it brings me comfort, .... i dunno.. i jsut hurt... sorry im dragging on now... night :/