So Lost And Confused

I don't know where to start... I feel like anything I do is wrong and I can't do anything right. I can't do anythig to help your mood. I wish I could go back and change whatever it was that set this thing off . I can't change who I am but I want to be the one you love. I feel like I am being torn apart every unspoken word between us tears at me. it pulls from the inside of my heart. I want you to kiss me like you mean it I want you to love me with all your heart I want you to tell me how you feel I want you to be open with me... I feel so left out... yes I respect your need of space but I also like to know things, such as your call schedule, when you get home when driving long distances I feel like you don't want to tell me anything.

I feel like sitting here and just bawling my eyes out.... trying not to be controlling and trying to figure out if i can save our relationship.... it hurts . I am trying to say the right things and do the right things and I am struggling I have so many things burning in my mind that I want to say or ask but can't get up the nerve to because I don't want to make it worse I don't ever want to lose you... I love you so much and I want to spend forever with you. I will wait for you if it takes a year I will wait for you to love me again. no matter what I am waiting my only<3

Nov 24th 2009